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O livro começa com a autora descrevendo sua obsessão pelo uadro “Ofélia” de Millais em exposição na Galeria Tate em Londres Aos 13 anos Emma passava as tardes observando a pintura ue retrata a namorada suicida de Hamlet personagem da obra de Shakespeare Conforme lista outras de suas peculiaridades bem como alguns aspectos curiosos de sua família Emma direciona os leitores para a conclusão a ue ela mesma chegou uando morava em Nova York havia cruzado a fronteira ue separa os excêntricos dos maníaco depressivosAo chegar ao ponto em ue não sentia uase nada somente dor e tristeza Emma começa a freuentar o consultório do psiuiatra a uem se refere como Dr R Ainda assim após algumas sessões ela tenta o suicídio e vai parar na emergência de um hospital Levada pela mãe para terminar de se tratar na Inglaterra a autora continua a ver o Dr R uando volta aos Estados Unidos Durante oito anos ela é paciente dele ue tem papel fundamental em sua recuperação uando tudo parecia bem – as visitas ao Dr R tinham se tornado esporádicas e ela achava ue havia encontrado o amor de sua vida – a notícia da morte do médico cai como uma bomba e pode ameaçar seu progresso


10 thoughts on “Your Voice in My Head

  1. says:

    Narcissist using eating disorders self harming and celebrity chasing to get her fill of attentionThis is a very disturbing book and I actually regret reading it The fact that it is a memoir made me want to feel sympathy for the author I wanted to like her and commiserate with her issues But Emma Forrest is so self centred so absorbed by her own looks and her own drama that it is literally impossible to feel anything but disgust The way she describes bulimia is almost a caricature of a narcissist's need to show off rather than an authentic account of what goes on in a person who actually suffers from the severe anxiety and self loathing that comes from dealing with that disorder And when she cuts herself it always is on full display bloody and obvious between namedropping all the celebrities she meets and engages with to boost her confidence The memoir could have been written in three sentencesI engage in self harming behaviour partly because I am suffering and partly because it feeds my sense of importanceI had a shrink who died and I felt betrayed he didn't tell me that he had terminal cancerI dated a famous movie star and that is something everybody in the whole world should know because it defines my whole universe Famous by proxyDon't read this if you have any firsthand experience of the disorders she mentions it will give you a very lopsided idea of what is going on and why and you might feel than slightly nauseousDon't read this if you are interested in a writing style that is coherent and makes sense and follows some kind of inner logicRead this if you enjoy reading on the maturity level of a 15 year old girl's diary as written by a grownup woman of 30Read this if you think it is amazing that Emma Forrest interviewed Brad Pitt talked to Susan Sarandon lived in a house that Heath Ledger had inhabited before her and of course that she dated Colin Farrell for a year and an unnamed most important playwright of our times as well


  2. says:

    Oh Lordy This book should be retitled Your Voice In My Head a Humblebrag in 224 pages Allow me to paraphraseI am so messed up it almost obscures how precocious and brilliant I am I am full of self loathing and body image issues in spite of being a beautiful fashionable waif I have terrible taste in men the movie stars über talented writers and poetic souls i date are all gorgeous and tall but totally wrong for me My amazing eccentric perfect family are stuck with me and my mental illness but they never complain because between suicide attempts we get along like a house on fire and they really dig my famous gorgeous boyfriendsSeriously That's basically the whole book Oh yeah there's the stuff about her shrink too Which would have been kinda touching if it wasn't also kinda suicky The book is dedicated to her therapist's widow and two sons which made me super cringe y every time she dropped some lurid detail I mean it's bad enough to lose your husbanddad but then one of his patients has to memorialize him with graphic details about her sex life And Colin Farrell's sex life That has got to be a little weird And don't get me started on how my head exploded every time she described herself as middle class or complained about her lack of health insurance While she was living in the West Village And dating movie stars Blergh I mean maybe move to New Jersey and spring for the good healthcare Sigh


  3. says:

    I'm trying to find ways to describe this book but it's a difficult task because my mind is overwhelmed in a good way Emma Forrest is a charismatic and gifted writer she's also a bipolar At the age of 16 she was a columnist in The Sunday Times and by the age of 21 a contributor to the Guardian And then to Vogue and Vanity Fair and The Independent She interviewed rock bands writers and Hollywood stars even dated A list actors and famous writers She also published 3 books at that time all acclaimed Then she sold a screenplay to Brad Pitt's production company Plan B In her early 20's she moved to Manhattan and a few years later to Hollywood Sounds like a charming life doesn't it? Emma seems blessed with talent and good fortune but she's also cursed with manic depression a chronic cutter and bulimic with serious self destruct tendencies During her stay in NY she had an unsuccessful suicide attempt That's the time she meets Dr R a well rounded good hearted and eternally optimistic psychiatrist that helps her fight and cope with this disease When Emma moved to California she continued having phone sessions with him and felt she was getting stronger But then Dr R died unexpectantly of lung cancer none of his patients knew he was sick while Emma was already living in LA And a few months later the man she thinks is the love of her life her Gypsy Husband as she calls him and a big Hollywood star just google it if you're a gossip hungry bitch I know I am breaks up with her and she's left to deal alone with heart ache and lossThis memoir is as much an account of her struggles in the deep dark cold waters of depression as it is a tribute to the doctor who helped her and in a way became a father figure and an anchor as was her knit tight family during her gloomiest momentsThis is not a self help book it does not dwell in Oprah territory Forrest doesn't offer advice or cope mechanisms And if it seems self obssessed at times wellisn't an autobiography by definition self centered? Emma does what most seasoned writers always give as an advice to new ones write what you know best And in our limited view of the world do we know anything better than ourselves? Even when we aren't being honest about it?Descending into the mind of a manic depressive person is a bumpy ride but Forrest has wheave her magic with her spartan and simultaneously lush prose The result is sorry in advance for the abundance of adjectives but I can't describe it any better irreverent funny witty sarcastic insightful frank heart breaking hilarious raw self deprecating gut wrenching brave and catharticHer narration isn't linear she jumps here and there back and fro in time and space and is inderspersed with her thoughts Like seeing a surreal impressionistic painting and yes I know these were different movements in Art but that's the picture she created in my mindIt's been a long time since a book made me go through an emotional roller coaster I cried and laughed so many times that I can't remember And there are so many uotes and passages I loved that I would probably need to write half the book down Instead I'll close my review with only one passage Dr R scratches out a note on his padLosing you both was only the practice pain wasn't it? For my mum and dadHe puts his finger on his lips his elbow at his chest not racked with cancer YesAnd when that happens this will seem like nothingHe nodsWhen it happens he asks me what will you get you through?Friends who love meAnd if your friends weren't there?Music through headphonesAnd if the music stopped?A sermon by Rabbi WolpeIf there was no religion?The mountains and the skyIf you leave California?Numbered streets to keep me walkingIf New York falls into the ocean?Your voice in my head


  4. says:

    Disappointing There's the famous writer who is gifted than anyone of our generation whatever that means the movie star who was her soul mate until he wasn't and a handful of other forgettable beaus There are a few oddly placed pop culture references Forrest comes across as an attention seeker seemingly driven to convince us all of her desirability to famous gifted men than anything else There were a few passages which were uite moving about her struggles but the emphasis on her relationships in particular her relatively short relationship with the actor Colin Farrell coyly called Gypsy Husband come across as superficial and childish The whole thing seems to be out of focus A decades long relationship with the man she claims saved her life is almost entirely eclipsed by a year long romance with a movie star There are many details about the relationship with the movie star than there are about her work with the doctor or any meaningful sharing of her struggles with anything other than breaking up with men I also found much of what she wrote about Farrell to be unnecessarily exploitative The pain of a break up as part of the story is one thing but this really feels much like a kiss and tell than anything I've ever read Readers looking for a memoir about surviving mental illness or even a tribute to a gifted doctor will likely be disappointed I was


  5. says:

    My boyfriend had a writing professor in college who said Don't write about your dead grandma because I don't want to give you a D on a story about your dead grandmaI should maybe alter that to Don't read memoirs with mentally ill protagonists because I don't want to give someone a D on a story about suicide attempts cutting and bulimia Especially not someone who has already been pummeled with toxic internet sledge by Colin Ferrell fanatics who found her too fat too ugly to be the actor's girlfriend in the latter part of the 2000sEmma Forrest's memoir The Sound of Your Voice in my Head is billed as a love letter to Dr R the therapist who for the most part kept her off the ledge and helped her cope with life long demons that were pushing her to end it all It is also about those demons But mostly it is about her relationship with a character she calls GH Gypsy Husband who is according to the giant decoder ring in the sky that easy on the eyes hard on the heart actor Colin Ferrell with whom she she was in a relationship for somewhere between six months and a year Dr R dies in a way that is sudden to his patients he hadn't told them about the lung cancer right around the same time that GH tells Emma he needs space and that oh yeah the baby they had planned on making Pearl is going to be a no goEmma Forest's story starts with Ophelia the painting she regularly visits at the Tate in London She's a teen aged girl sitting in front of it weeping Scanning the background of the painting by Millais for a super secret man in the bushes who will emerge and save the woman in the water This is an easy metaphor Our protagonist will spend the rest of the book looking for a dude in the bushes to save herShe's young but already a rock journalist and novelist when she moves to New York City which seems to pull her issues to surface level in a way that her mother likens to a fever breaking There is bulimia and there are instances of cutting that are coaxed along by a boyfriend who shares this predilection and spends time with her in the bathroom and in bed carving into her flesh She lands in Dr R's care which is immediately followed by a suicide attempt which is followed by a earnest attempt at healingThe second half of the book is GH heavy This long distance text heavy relationship that had Mr H sending her gifts from location including a worn T shirt with a poem written on it They are talking through the building of a life together despite the negative online critiues she is receiving from the kind of people who post anonymous comments on celeb gossip websitesThe writing is nice Sometimes even funny The story is interesting in that way that all stories about being one fistful of pills and a warm bath from a funeral dirge are interesting but also uite similar to everything that is shelved around itThe protagonist however is a little hard to take She never misses a moment to point out a chance meeting with an unnamed famous writer a named famous former White House intern or the story about the time she told Brad Pitt before interviewing him that her boyfriend was way hotter than himDuring a session with Dr R Forrest mentions the band ColdplayOK Fine You're seeing one of them? He asksHell NO Jesus Dr R Why do you assume that?Track recordBarf I've spent a lot of time this past week thinking about what it is about namedropping that is so insufferable and have come up with this It isn't per se It is when there is a feeling that the namedropper is using the roster of Page Sixers to somehow validate her story In post publication interviews Forrest has said things like It's not necessarily Colin Ferrell that I'm writing about I date a lot of movie stars Forrest is a good writer descriptive and thoughtful Sometimes even funny At one point she writes about a random man she is diddlingThe cat rescuer comes back for me once twice We don't know each other's number he just appears Each time I am caught unawares and wearing something schlumpy bizarre and unflattering than the last Like I have on a poncho and worms are coming out of my eyes and one of my arms is made out of Dudley MooreDudley Moore But she shoots herself in the foot by leaning too hard on the tell all side of the story The I'm hanging out with a famous writer and we are writing together in this cabin and he's downstairs and I'm downstairs and he's famous and I'm singing and he comes upstairs and tells me to stop singing so loudly moments that she can't resist finding a way to drop into her story I'd love to see something written by her and maybe this exists but I doubt it that doesn't include a lick of her own life


  6. says:

    This is one case where I wish we could give ratings in half star increments three stars is too much two too little I'm attracted to memoirs I'm intrigued by mental illness it's debilitation and it's manifestation namely addiction In the case of this book said addiction is self injury and bulimia It seems Emma's to call her 'the author' is too academic; 'Ms Forrest' too austere initial intention is to chronicle her battle with these compulsions along with a touching homage to her late therapist Dr R to whom she gives almost exclusive credit for helping her conuer her mania Got it Ready for it Go I will admit roughly the first half of the book had me hooked Though it seems many other readers were not enad with Emma's writing style I liked it as a whole I found it casual enough to invite but not insult while many passages wooed me with voice and language complex enough to impress but not patronize In terms of a writing opinion I enjoyed Emma's tone and would read of her work However the content uickly became an issue While I can appreciate the tragedy of loving losing who can't? that's not why this book piued my interest And while I'm as interested in celebrity encounters as the next person I uickly sour from namedropping Combine the two and you have a great majority of this memoir brief ineffectual exchanges with local actors and musicians and a tumultuous but tiresome love affair with a dashing surreptitiously nicknamed actor I was hoping for a dissection of depression or of cutting or of bulimia or of mania I was hoping for an overview of therapy or an analysis of Emma's specific relationship to Dr R I even hoped there might be a glimpses on writing itself it's involvement with depression These components were depressingly absent Ultimately I was compelled by her struggles but uickly alienated by the stories she chose to tell Her bipolar disorder never throws her writing or success into uestion by her account she remains wildly successful throughout the majority of the book Her cutting is stark and severe but she never discusses how it helps her or why it is her recourse; similarly her bulimia uietly fades into nothingness What I DID learn however is that Colin Farrell text messages a lot may or may not have some neurosis of his own and at one point purchased a cute baby coat for a baby that didn't yet exist This is a book about a woman's struggles and while she's absolutely free to write about whatever she wishes I almost feel manipulated as if she used her mania as a cloak in order to pen a kiss and tell


  7. says:

    Dear Sweet Jesus This book was a car wreck I gave it two stars because I literally couldn't stop reading it even though I wanted to Emma Forrest is a journalist who writes about celebrity She's also bipolar and cuts herself In this book she writes about her suicide attempts numerous boyfriends and the death of her therapist She also gets into a serious relationship with Colin Farrell who she calls her Gypsy HusbandOne of the messages that I learned from this book is that I should never ever date Colin Farrell Lesson learnedRead this book if you want to feel sane I am very very healthy and happy in comparison


  8. says:

    Emma Forrest has a way with conducting a story Her talent shines as she weaves her memoir into a tale that reads like fiction yet presents constant reflection almost as a third party to her experiences doing so in a charming and funny yet heartfelt and honest way I laughed I cried a bit commiserated tons and just faced the fucking facts We all have our struggles and living is the hard part; but perseverance is always a path awaiting our pursuit if we choose it I think this also sums up the brilliance of Emma's writing abilities Though many people reading this may be unable to understand exactly the madness and struggle and pain a person with such mental illness experiences she managed to bring recognition to the common griefs we share throughout life as human beings and bridged a connection we all could share in some how Emma Forrest talented English writer has been suffering from mental illness since her early teens She's Bipolar the most sever form of manic depression Your Voice in My Head is mostly a tribute to the person she credits with saving her life Dr R her psychiatrist whom she met in NY a couple weeks before trying to commit suicide in her early 20s Dr R died abruptly to her because she didn't know he was sick from cancer complications in May 2008 This memoir served as a way to honor him for his efforts in helping her on her journey to wellness including accounts of her deepest times of despair and struggles with the dark days as well an endeavor to remember his guidance in order to help her charter the dark waters she now faces in her present without his counsela means of self preservation without her life preserver if you will as the battle to live for her is a revisiting struggle she wears like a garment of clothing I imagined writing Your Voice in My Head was also something Emma undertook to help her cope with his absence in her life The retelling basically synchronizes their time together and how his counsel has led to her getting healthy I hope that she keeps living her life writing and experiencing new things that make her happy I hope one day she will indeed make love last and come to know her true Gypsy Husband And I most certainly hope that Dr R will always be a comforting voice a voice of reason in her head Thank you for sharing your story Emma


  9. says:

    And here's entry numero dos in my Books Whose Narrator People Love to Complain About series I read this alongside I Await the Devil's Coming whose narrator Mary MacLane is mocked almost across the board by readers for her melodrama and expression of inner turmoilBut here's what bothers me the most about the criticism of Emma Forrest's personality and writing the general public loves a uirky male writer I'm talking cult like devotion David Sedaris Chuck Klosterman David Foster Wallace Chuck Palahniuk Dave Eggers The general public loves a David and a Chuck Loves an intellectual wacky slightly unstable man They're great They're genius They're hilariousA Mary or an Emma? A woman's pain a woman's humor about her pain? The audacityEmma Forrest is an extremely successful screenwriter and novelist who suffers from bipolar disorder and major depressive disorder Her thoughts are disorganized along with her life She has one suicide attempt and another near attempt behind her She knows a lot of famous people and names them She had a high profile relationship and talks about it And this is enough for people to not only write off her memoir but Emma Forrest as a person People don't like her because she's self destructive because she's a namedropper because she's melodramatic because they just don't understand why she wants to die Because she's a cutter because she's bulimic because she's pretty and thinks she isn'tBut I loved Emma Forrest because of all of this It's always a huge risk to write about depression when you have an audience of people who don't understand it But Forrest knows this I know that feeling inside sadness seeing it being able to articulate it calmly and clearly and it doesn't make any difference Forrest doesn't have a lot of answers to her problems The ghost of her therapist Dr R looms over her She felt her best when she was with GH and she openly worries about the fact that she felt her best because of a man She defines a period of her life by a relationship which everyone knows makes a woman a weak insipid loser Nevermind the fact that so much of what is considered Great Literature can be reduced to a man's sad moaning about a womanBut the worst crime of all I think is that Forrest learns to love herself It's a love that was there the entire time impressed on her boyfriends and her family She writes gorgeously about her growth and it's amazing to see her use her hardships as stepping stones And why so many people find this story so objectionable I don't uite understand


  10. says:

    Of all the good memoirs out there that never make it into print how in the world did this one make it? I skimmed it because I wanted in the worst way for Emma to face up to the truth to find her Self To do so she would have had to face the underlying reason for her self destructive behavior in the form of cutting bulimia promiscuity suicide attempts And that is not to mention losing her Self in every relationship and then being completely bereft when he leaves her The one moment just the one is what kept me reading the book to give her every chance to come clean with her Self her counselor her parents and her readers It is the moment when she is confronted with the knowledge that her cutting could be a sign of abuse in her childhood She steers around that and has herself believing it all started when she was sixteen when she was raped I am not a counselor but I know the signs all too well She is a classic example of someone who identifies with the perpetrator I too endured childhood abuse I too developed bulimia I know all too well how painful the healing process can be But at some point I faced that pain and I steered through it not around Thank goodness I could have been stuck in this kind of insanity the rest of my life If you want to get pulled into Emma Forrest's insanity read this book Otherwise spare yourself this and read a book that doesn't leave you feeling like you've just wasted your time